As someone (my g/f’s mother, lol) posted as a comment on one of my blogs, it’s a “life experience.” Well, life has been one big experience lately. Learning a lot.
Where my time in the Navy was a test to see if I would choose God or the world when put in a situation where I was away from all that reminded me of Him, and was surrounded by sin and death. I think I passed that one: after backsliding and screwing up in many ways (cussing, smoking, sexual temptation, etc.), I ended up choosing Him. I’m stronger now than I was. Sure, I’m still very confused and unsure of my faith…but I’m not so naive now as to think I know everything.
Then I came home and all seemed well: I was finally together with my best friend (and now g/f), got a good job with decent pay and hours…got myself a truck too. Slipped back into church easily and rebuilt my life basically. (Much thanks to the Frederics: during the time that I was living at home still, with my family going through all that crap, you letting me spend so much time over there helped me stay sane. And that’s not even mentioning how Melody has helped me.)
Well, that just a quiet time. God letting me relax, regroup, and rethink. Now it’s starting up again.
I’m in debt, with a bank account in the negative, and I’m living off of credit I don’t have. I think I have a job. And, while it’s in the town I want, it’s not quite the job I want. I got the Youth Group at my church started, but now I don’t know where to take it. Also, I want to go to Culinary School…but between debt, life situation, and deciding where to go (as far as it relates to Melody)…I don’t know when, if at all, I’ll get to go.
Oh, and let’s not even mention the stress I’ve been going through lately in wondering what God wants me to do. I’m thinking more and more that I just might be called into the ministry. Whatever the heck that means. Pastor of a church? Youth Pastor? Missionary? Church Planter? Traveling Evangelist? What the heck does it He wants me to do? I’ve such a burden for Him and for the unsaved and for the Church. But I’ve no idea what to do!
I’ve been shown more and more that, where as in the Navy the lesson to learn is that God is Everything and All I need (even when I can’t feel or hear or see Him), now the lesson to learn is to have faith in Him to supply my needs, to reveal the next step in His plan (in His time), and to give me the strength to make it.
I may never stop asking Him to reveal His whole plan for me…and I may never quite know what I’m doing…Nor will I always do as I should. But, maybe I can take the life lessons I’m going through and use them to get to the next step?