Monthly Archives: March 2007

Smoke and Fire

I apologize for the swear word in this song. But it fits my mood. My ball and chain is made of smoke, yet its as strong as steel…

Papa Roach’s Video, “Be Free”


Life beats me down…
I am going to drown…

My vision is clouded…
My efforts are routed…

The smoke surrounds me…
And from it I can’t seem to flee…

My determination exits thru the door…
As another match hits the floor…


And yet there is hope in all this:

Suerchic[k]’s video, “Beauty From Pain”



“Why do you say, O Jacob,
and complain, O Israel,
‘My way is hidden from the LORD;
my cause is disregarded by my God’?” (Isaiah 40:27)

Ever have days like that? Where you feel as if you can’t go further, have no energy, or just wan to give up? As if God ain’t paying you any attention? Ya…I feel like that a lot lately. No fun I tell you. Well, just look at the rest of the passage:

“Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator
of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

“He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

“Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

“but those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint.” (Isaiah 40:28-31)

Or, as this song puts it:

by Third Day

My pain and problems keep me chained
And my troubled heart makes me weak
I’ll wait for You to comfort me
And in You I know I’ll find my strength

I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly high above this world
And I will soar on the wings of eagles
I will learn to fly
I will learn to fly high above this world

I tremble with this heavy weight
And I’m buried underneath my grief
I’ll run to You and not grow faint

And I’ll lay my burdens at Your feet


The other day, I was feeling really down, didn’t want to go to work, and life was really beating me down. I listened to this song, and something happened that don’t happen to me much lately: I felt God again. For just a moment, I literally felt as if I was “flying” (spiritually, not physically) up in the clouds with God. It was one of the most encouraging feelings. I did go back down, but with the knowledge that my life isn’t out of God’s sight. He’s still there. Still watching, protecting, interacting. I may not see Him, but He is there. I can’t think of much more that is comforting. Hoorah.

God Bless,


This here is some stuff the Spirit showed me last night when I was dealing with an issue of temptation. I’m just going to give the Scripture references, and I recommend you read them the moment you come to them. Then read on. And if you feel like it, you can compare what I say to the Scriptures as you read along. For those of you to lazy to go get your Bible, the Scripture references are clickable. Just right click and open in a new window/tab and read along! This devo here is also dedicated to a friend of mine who is struggling with a like temptation…

James 1:15, NIV
Sin and temptation result from the desire in you for it. One person may not be an alcoholic, despite constant exposure to it and plenty of opportunity. He has no desire. But he may go out of his way to look at porn, because the desire is there. (And, no, neither of those are the temptation I deal with.) The desire lures you and and then you allow it to become sin. You allow it. And a sinful life results in death.

I Corinthians 10:13, NIV
While temptation is not sin, it can lead to it. But there is no temptation that cannot be resisted, and God will provide that way out. He will not lead you to fall, nor leave you to fail.

Matthew 4:1-11, NIV
Jesus is always our best example. He was weakest in His hunger and exhaustion, and that is when satan made his move. The tactic Jesus used was one that works: Scripture. But He didn’t just mindlessly vomit up some randomly memorized passage that just so happened to be relevant to the situation. No, He claimed the passage as truth, as God’s Word, as something He firmly believed and was determined to follow. He was faithful to God.

Hebrews 4:14-16, NIV
It is a great comfort to know that, despite our humanness and imperfection, the very One Who came to save us was tempted and given the opportunity to give up His mission (check out His “Not My will but Your will” prayer: Matthew 26:38-40, NIV). Yet, He had victory over it. And, with Him living in us, we have that ability, that power to draw on. We don’t have to sin! He sympathizes and empathizes with us and we can be spotless! All we need to do is come to Him, confident of the help we will receive, and ask!

James 4:2-10, NIV
But, so often, we don’t ask. Or, if we do, it’s with wrong motives (to look/feel good, for others’ sake, or for any other reason than wanting to please God and build our relationship with Christ). And either of those result in not receiving! In addition, we often align ourselves with worldly things, asking for and claiming to want deliverance, but not really wanting to give up our vices. (Think: you may lie in bed crying tears and imploring God to save you…but are you also still wanting to hold on to your sin? I know I’ve done that.) But, if we bow humbly before our King, resist satan and repent, God will bring us back into good standing: forgiven.

James 4:11-12, NIV
As a parting thought, let me make two more points. First, just because you’ve had victory over a particular sin (or any sin for that matter), that does not give you permission to gloat over and look down on people who are still wallowing in the mud. We are to build each other up (Eph. 4:29, NIV), not tear each other down (I Pet. 3:9, NIV). Follow the Law of Love, not of Hate and Pride.

Second, if you do fail, don’t beat yourself up. That’s the road to only more failure. Instead, humble yourself, admit you did wrong, and repent to God (I Jn. 1:8-9). Then ask Him to give you strength to follow Him next time. Don’t expect an immediate victory over your problem: while it happens to people from time to time, most often, recovery is a process, not a moment.

God Bless,

Response to Cathe

I know that I started off the last blog by reffering to something this lady said…but she gets me a thinking…which gets me a writing. Here’s her comment on my last blog…the items in [brackets] are my interjections…watch out: they are everywhere!…


Just keep looking for “tent making jobs” [I agree…tho didn’t even Paul stop working to go and preach! (Not saying this is what I am to do…just playing a very bad devil’s advocate)] and let God do the rest. Don’t be so concerned that He show you, “RIGHT NOW!RIGHT THIS MINUTE!, What he wants from and for you. [I agree…in theory…my actions don’t quite seem to line up with this lesson I am learning] Gee that might be hard because you are sooooo old and you might die or have a stroke or something befor you find out.;) [Always the joker] In my experiance God changes what he has for you to do according to how you have grown. Or maybe he always had one plan but we keep getting sidetracked. [I have “life-purpose ADD” just so you know] Work on supporting your self and if you end up having a family then that will be your primary ministry. [First of all, I most definitely do plan on having a family…that’s one thing I am quite sure God has in store…and I also agree that they would be my primary ministry…but it’s not my “main” ministry…if that makes any sense…there’s something more to my mission in life] I’m afraid the days are gone when the church supports ministers. [The Bible says to support the ministers…so the days for that aren’t gone, as the Bible never goes out of style: we are just in disobedience to God] You need to work and relax! God will answer you in His time.


Right now God is putting me through tests I’ve never gone through before. Trials involving money, family, friends, love, work, ministry, etc. I know that it will all end up being used for His purpose and all…But being an OCD perfectionist, I don’t like to wait. Tis all. But wait I must.


God Bless,

Life Lessons…

As someone (my g/f’s mother, lol) posted as a comment on one of my blogs, it’s a “life experience.” Well, life has been one big experience lately. Learning a lot.

Where my time in the Navy was a test to see if I would choose God or the world when put in a situation where I was away from all that reminded me of Him, and was surrounded by sin and death. I think I passed that one: after backsliding and screwing up in many ways (cussing, smoking, sexual temptation, etc.), I ended up choosing Him. I’m stronger now than I was. Sure, I’m still very confused and unsure of my faith…but I’m not so naive now as to think I know everything.

Then I came home and all seemed well: I was finally together with my best friend (and now g/f), got a good job with decent pay and hours…got myself a truck too. Slipped back into church easily and rebuilt my life basically. (Much thanks to the Frederics: during the time that I was living at home still, with my family going through all that crap, you letting me spend so much time over there helped me stay sane. And that’s not even mentioning how Melody has helped me.)

Well, that just a quiet time. God letting me relax, regroup, and rethink. Now it’s starting up again.

I’m in debt, with a bank account in the negative, and I’m living off of credit I don’t have. I think I have a job. And, while it’s in the town I want, it’s not quite the job I want. I got the Youth Group at my church started, but now I don’t know where to take it. Also, I want to go to Culinary School…but between debt, life situation, and deciding where to go (as far as it relates to Melody)…I don’t know when, if at all, I’ll get to go.

Oh, and let’s not even mention the stress I’ve been going through lately in wondering what God wants me to do. I’m thinking more and more that I just might be called into the ministry. Whatever the heck that means. Pastor of a church? Youth Pastor? Missionary? Church Planter? Traveling Evangelist? What the heck does it He wants me to do? I’ve such a burden for Him and for the unsaved and for the Church. But I’ve no idea what to do!

I’ve been shown more and more that, where as in the Navy the lesson to learn is that God is Everything and All I need (even when I can’t feel or hear or see Him), now the lesson to learn is to have faith in Him to supply my needs, to reveal the next step in His plan (in His time), and to give me the strength to make it.

I may never stop asking Him to reveal His whole plan for me…and I may never quite know what I’m doing…Nor will I always do as I should. But, maybe I can take the life lessons I’m going through and use them to get to the next step?

God Bless,

This Momma Wore Army Boots

This Momma Wore Army Boots

Go check this blog out: it’s awesome. lol. I know I posted this before, but I have to do so every-once-in-a-while. Now I’m gonna get off the net and go haul wood for a neighbor. ttfn.


This entry has no point other than to post a blog. I’m trying to get my writing back in gear, and this is how I’m doing it: I’m posting even though I have nothing to post. So if you got a problem with that, then I don’t care. lol. Sorry for the pointlessness of it all, but I will get a real blog posted up soon. I’ll write it at home and post it when I get to a net-worthy computer. Thank you and goodnight.

God Bless,


I’m just now starting to read bout it all, but I figured I’d give people a heads up: there are still 27 million slaves worldwide. And there’s a whole “army” of abolitionists round the world trying to stop it. A few of the organizations are these:

Visit the Amazing Change Website

(Has a petition to sign to help end slavery)

Visit the Amazing Grace Movie Website

(Is a movie that is about abolitionists in Great Britain)
(Is an organization dedicated to ending slavery)
(Is a 15 year old kid who is becoming famous for his abolitionist efforts)

I implore you to go check these people out, even if only to sign the petition. Please do.

God Bless,