To Surrender My Will, I Must Use it?

I apologize for the lack of Scripture and answers in this blog, and for the large amount of questions and ramblings: this is more of just me wondering how/why something is. I’ll post the answer when I find it…

Last night, and off and on today, I’ve been having a pretty good argument with God (yes, I argue with God, and it isn’t “wrong”…go read Psalms and what David sometimes said). See, I am supposed to surrender my will to God. Yet…I’m supposed to use that very free will to follow Him. I’m supposed to let Him work through me…Yet I’m supposed to use my own determination to stick with Him. I’m supposed to let His strength be that which sustains me…But I still have to use my own to get up every morning.

I can deal with paradox’s like “fully God and fully Man” because they don’t “directly” affect me. This one does. And I can’t understand it, explain it away, or even deal with it. It’s been driving me insane. I can’t do it on my own…yet I still need to put in the effort? How does that work?

SERIOUSLY!!! I throw my will at God for Him to take over…

…But I still have to retain it to make it so I’m not just some robot for God?

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!

I had a great blog planned out for this subject…but it escapes me in my frustration. I wish God were easier to understand. Or, at least, that He would explain this issue to me. Cause I can’t go any further with Him until I surrender/retain my will. Ugh…

Why does this all have to be so confusing?

God Bless,
Peregrinus.

P.S. Ideas, comments, advice, Scripture…Help?

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