Monthly Archives: February 2007

I am not a crook!

I had an interesting experience yesterday/today. Apparently, when you buy furniture at Goodwill, the slip the attendant gives you in the furniture department needs to be taken up to the front counter and be paid for. Yet, I forgetfully (I blame my mother for my air occasional headedness) walked out without paying. And the outside attendant didn’t check to make sure I had a receipt before giving me the chairs. Sigh…So today, I got off of work a bit early to go take care of that. Chatted wit my Mom (who was visiting my neighbors) and took off. I cashed my check and all dat then went to Goodwill. Like a good little boy, I turned off my truck’s lights and locked the door. Then I went in and paid for the chairs, bought a book that looked good, and went to leave. Um…I left my keys in the truck. Shoot. And my Mom couldn’t find my extra set of keys. Shoot. And Melody (who was on her way home from school) didn’t have a wire coat hanger in her van. Shoot. ARGH! Sigh…luckily, the gym nearbye had a hanger. But it wouldn’t work. However, Melody stopped by to say hi and give me a hug (stress reliever big time there) and a piece of eraser for my hanger, lol. That got it half undone, and the stiff wire of the other side took care of the rest. So I was able to get it taken care of. Then I had to go to the coffeeshop to get a 24oz. Quake Shake (ice cream, esspresso, and oreo crumbs) to cool off. Thankfully, I’ll get to spend all day tomorrow wit me girl, which is all I really want at this point. Blogging to you all about the meaninglessness of my day is only a filler :p

God Bless,



Lately has been quite a ride for me. Essentially, I’m learning what it is like to be an adult and be out on my own. After all, my first experience “on my own” was in the Navy. And that lasted 7 months and 15 days. And when I came back, I lived at home. Ya, I had a girlfriend, a truck, and a job, but I still lived at home! And now I’ve got my own place, bills and rent are piling up on me, and I got a powerful need to eat sometime this week! Speaking of food, my stress habit of eating junk food is creeping back up on me (bad self-confidence, bad!). I’ve enrolled myself in Western Culinary Institute up in Portland to start on May 21st. If I can get the cash that is: $42,260. Oh, wait, it’s now only $42,210 (I paid the $50 application fee, yay me!). Sigh…And I’m deeply in love with my girl, contemplating things (on my own that is) that I would have thought would be further ahead in life. And my boss now can’t give me full time work, and I’m slightly (read that over $1,000) in debt. Even if the Navy paid me the $1,000 in back pay they owe me, it would not be quite enough (though certainly a big boost!!!). So I have the dilemma: do I sacrifice my dignity and health conscience by working at McNasty’s for the next three months, before I move to Portland (hopefully working a better job), or do I scrape my way by, and enter school in debt, and possibly going further in? Ah…adulthood: trial by fire, eh? Ya, all you older folks are probably sitting there with a smile on your face, maybe even chuckling, remembering your own struggles. Well, just remember one thing: it wasn’t funny when you went through it, so it ain’t funny when I do it. Now, I don’t mean to complain, that’s for sure…Just rant, lol. (And I haven’t even gone in to the fact that I’m starting a Youth Group at church this Sunday, and am going through a few Spiritual struggles/battles/maturing of my own. Nor the effects my parents’ split are having on me, nor any of the other crap going on with my friends that is affecting me.) Don’t get me wrong, it’s fun, all this growing up in life, love, and God…but it can be awful stressful. So you’ll excuse me if I scream a moment: AAARRRGGGHHH!!! Thank you, and good night.

God Bless,

Love and all that other good stuff…

This here is my (late) contribution to the whole Valentine’s deal of this time of year. I hope you all like it.

“What is Love?”
by Anthony

Kind words sweetly spoken…
Eyes meeting, fully felt…
Soft caresses of the fingertips…
A warm embrace, never ending…
Forgiveness given and hurt forgotten…
Changes made without resentment…
A passing touch: electric!…
The other’s arrival eagerly awaited…
Each other’s closeness singly desired…
Trusting fully in their care…
Giving your heart, without condition…
And in return? Receiving theirs…


This one is based off of a sermon the previous pastor at my church did. It’s almost like the story of an individual’s salvation (which is also connected to my previous post of revival). The passage he was reading from was Mark 10:46-52, the story of Bartimaeus.

In this passage, Bartimaeus (son of Timaous) is sitting by the road begging. So he was obviously poor (strike one against him). Plus, he was with a disability: blindness (strike two against him). Yet, in this story, we can see that Christ listens to even the most outcast of outcasts.
Bartimaeus was begging y the road when he heard a commotion. This of course was unusual, so he asked what it was. He was told that Jesus of Nazareth was there. So he cried out, “Son of David, have mercy on my!” He was rebuked by those there. But he cried all the louder: “Son of David, have mercy one me!”
Now, a lot of things had fit together before this was possible. See, this was our Lord’s last trip though Jericho, for soon after He was crucified. Plus, not only was Jesus in town, but Bartimaeus just so happened to be begging where He passed by. And when Jesus heard Bartimaeus’ call, He “stood still” (KJV). And with two simple words: “Call him,” Jesus projected so much authority that those who had rebuked Bartimaeus now came to him and said “Cheer up! On your feet! He’s calling you.”
Bartimaeus threw his cloak side and ran to Jesus, who asked him what he wanted. The reply was, “Rabbi, I want to se.” And immediately, Jesus restored his sight, and Bartimaeus “followed Him in the way.” (KJV)

When you confess your sinful life, and receive salvation, it’s much like Bartimaeus:

Spiritually poor, born of the flesh, and begging for purpose, you are blind to your sin. You just don’t realize it. Then, one day, something happens: whether it be the circumstances are just right, or the right people are there, or whatever, the Spirit begins to move When you begin to ask and seek, you find that it is Jesus: the One Who loved you enough to die for your sins. Desiring His presence in your life, you cry out to Him. When Satan, or your “friends” or other influences try to rebuke you, the Spirit calls you all the more. And you cry out even louder, desperate for Christ.
Then Jesus stops at your voice: He stands still. He beckons you to come closer. Then the distractions and detractors seem as nothing. At once, you throw off your cloak of pride that has kept you from heeding the Call before, the rags of guilt and shame, and run to your Savior. Not unlike the Prodigal Son did when he came back home.
Jesus looks you in the face with His loving eyes: “What do you want?” is His question. “Lord, I want to see. To be free from sin’s oppression, from its murderous grasp. I want to be like you.”
Then, you will hear the most wondrous words: “Your faith has healed you.” Immediately, sin’s shackles will be broken and fall from you heart, freeing you from its grasp. You will be free and spotless in God’s eyes, and His Son will put His arms around you. Nothing compares to the feeling of His love.
Now what you say? You follow Him in the Way. There is nothing less you can do for the one who healed you and saved you.


This blog and the next one are two Bible studies I did a long time ago, and recently dug up. I like them. Though I’d share them with you. Don’t worry, my next blog will be different, lol. Hope I don’t bore y’all too much. ;)


II Chronicles 7:11-13 — Here God is speaking to Solomon in a dream just after the dedication of the new temple. He says that if ever something happens to His people, they need only to do as He says in verse 14:
“…if My people, who are called by My name, will humble themselves and pray and seek My face and turn from their wicked ways, then I will hear from heaven and will forgive their sin and heal their land.”
vv.15-22 — He says that He will always hear the prayers of His people and that He has chosen and consecrated this temple that His name may be there forever. He then goes onto tell Solomon that if he follows God, his kingdom shall prosper and last.. But, is warned that if he disobeys, and worships other gods, (as America has done!), God will leave the temple and bring ridicule upon the Israelites.

The message of this verse (and even its context, as shown above) is that of revival and it tells us how revival can be accomplished.

“…if My people, who are called by My name…” Revival can only be brought about by believers. Yes, revival can bring new souls into God’s kingdom, but can only be brought about by the Holy Spirit through those who already believe.
“…will humble themselves…” How can people filled with pride truly seek revival? See, the very reason and purpose of revival is to ask God for His hand to come down and His presence to fill the people and place. How can this be accomplished when people think they are better than God? Or even just other people or circumstances?
“…and pray…” We must communicate our desire for revival to God. We must repent and pray for revival. Otherwise it cannot be done!
“…and seek My face…” If we are not actively seeking God and His purpose and will; if we are not reading His Word and praying to Him; if we are not searching for Him, how dare we even consider asking Him for revival?
“…and turn from their wicked ways…” We cannot be living in sin and have revival at the same time. It just won’t work! i.e. For our nation to have revival, we must repent and renounce such transgressions as sexual immorality, abortion, murder, theft, cussing, blasphemy, among many many others. For the Holy Spirit to come and fill us and our land, or state, or town, or church, or even household or ourself, we cannot be living in sin or supportive of those who are.
“…then I will hear from heaven…” Yes! God really can hear us, and He will if we do these things. And believe me, He wants to!
“…and forgive their sin…” He will forget them completely and utterly. They will be thrown as far as the east is from the west. They will haunt us no more.
“…and heal their land [or house, or life, or town, or church, etc.].” We will be healed! Revival can and will come if only we who are called only do as He asks: humble ourselves, pray, seek His face, and turn from our wicked ways. Then He will come like a flood, the fire of the Holy Spirit filling us with a passion for Him and His will. He will heal our hurts, protect us from further harm, and give us the strength to follow Him!

Individually, to bring about revival, we need to come to God and begin to apply the four steps for revival found in this passage. A personal application may look like this:

I must work on these 4 things:
1) Humbling myself before God. Admitting that I cannot do this myself. That I need Him. That without Him, I can do nothing! He is God, my Rock, Lord of My life, my Redeemer
2) Pray. Pray for revival, forgiveness, strength, wisdom, and for His Holy Spirit.
3) See His face. I must realize that He is the only thing I need, that is worth living for. Nothing else. Read His Word, pray, live for Him and Him alone!
4) Turn from my wicked ways. I must repent and renounce my sins. Stop them all. They cannot be present in my life along with God’s Spirit.

Now, when I originally did this little study, I asked a few questions: (1) How can we bring enough believers together to bring revival to our nation? Our state? Our town? Our church even? (2) The big question is, am I ready, willing, and able to do these 4 steps? Then I realized, I need only concern myself with the second one. Because that is the only one I can affect. It’s up to me and me along to make the decision of commitment. However, only God can accomplish the first. Only He can bring together the right people into the right circumstances, allowing revival to take place. And, if I (and the rest of us as well) apply myself to taking this passage to heart, then God can and will begin to do this. Question is, what are you going to do about it?


I’ve been a little negligent in my posting as of late. So I’ve decided to start writing blog posts at home when I have time, and post them when I get somewhere with internet. So I may post two, three, even four blogs at a time. Not sure how many I’ll do today…But here goes the first one…

Back during my time in the Navy, in Submarine School, I was at Night Study. A friend of mine who was on Restriction (for supplying a minor with alcohol) gave me this little tidbit on a few pieces of notepaper. Now, he didn’t write them, but someone he knew (I’ll give his name only because I am posting his material: Calhoun was his last name) in Restriction had written. I have to say, it’s a nice little summary of the conflict between God and Satan. And, when my friend (Timothy) gave me this, it opened up a good little discussion between us. He’s already “saved,” but not much more. It was nice to be able to share Christ with someone. So…here’s what was written down. Let me know what y’all think:


God made all…Satan envied God’s position…Satan was cutoff…God made Earth and Man…Satan tricked man, Man falls…(god gave man choice)…Man multiplies…God sets up man’s Gov’t…Individually Man seeks creator because he is hardwired to…As a collective society, man follows the flesh…Satan wants a kingdom either by direct followers, Disciples, or by Default…(By Default) If man does not follow God, he is with satan, therefore, by default, satan has a kingdom.


(choice) Man has a time limit to make his choice (Birth to Death) If choice is not made by death, choice is made for man – -(satan)- and obviously: if man chooses satan … He gets him.
Satan (creator of lies) realizes man is hardwired to find the one true creator, but as a society and individually follows the flesh so he takes and Edits.


(Edits) The truth in to many versions turning/Re-directing man’s choice from following God in order to use man’s gift of choice to build satan’s ingdom.
God made all in order to give himself Glory. But why would God give satan the chance to build a kingdom against God?
-Because – God made all, -therefore,- God can destroy all. The Bible predicts a war between the two kingdoms and God knows he can destroy all.


(Destroy all) so God allows satan to have 1/3 of the Angels and as many men as he can get his hands on in order to prove to man Satan and the Angels that glory is his by defeating the other kingdom.
But, God does not give away man (his most favored of creatures) lightly. In order to convince man to pick his creators side, he let his only begotten son take man’s sin upon himself in order that man can be allowed in Heaven.


(Allowed) With the price of admission already paid, God allows man to choose the kingdom to follow.
God created man, therefore, we are rightfully his, but God gave man the right to choose (An obviously selfless act.) satan, however, wants to take the kingdom from God (An obviously selfish act.) In conclusion, satan does not care about Man, but only about a kingdom can rule.



I apologize for the inaccuracy of the spelling, grammar, punctuation, etc. But I wrote it out exactly as it was done. The only alterations are the elipses (…) in the first paragraph were originally a single dot (which I can’t do I don’t think), and there were circles around the page numbers…but neither can I do that.

To Surrender My Will, I Must Use it?

I apologize for the lack of Scripture and answers in this blog, and for the large amount of questions and ramblings: this is more of just me wondering how/why something is. I’ll post the answer when I find it…

Last night, and off and on today, I’ve been having a pretty good argument with God (yes, I argue with God, and it isn’t “wrong”…go read Psalms and what David sometimes said). See, I am supposed to surrender my will to God. Yet…I’m supposed to use that very free will to follow Him. I’m supposed to let Him work through me…Yet I’m supposed to use my own determination to stick with Him. I’m supposed to let His strength be that which sustains me…But I still have to use my own to get up every morning.

I can deal with paradox’s like “fully God and fully Man” because they don’t “directly” affect me. This one does. And I can’t understand it, explain it away, or even deal with it. It’s been driving me insane. I can’t do it on my own…yet I still need to put in the effort? How does that work?

SERIOUSLY!!! I throw my will at God for Him to take over…

…But I still have to retain it to make it so I’m not just some robot for God?


I had a great blog planned out for this subject…but it escapes me in my frustration. I wish God were easier to understand. Or, at least, that He would explain this issue to me. Cause I can’t go any further with Him until I surrender/retain my will. Ugh…

Why does this all have to be so confusing?

God Bless,

P.S. Ideas, comments, advice, Scripture…Help?